On Judging Others

This morning I signed into Facebook when I was supposed to be doing homework. I didn't plan on judging but some statuses were like a magnet to my inner-arbitrator. What's a girl gonna do?

Some Facebook statuses, both past and present, that have got my head spinning.

"Does anyone have the number to --- Salon?" If you're on Facebook, you can probably find Google. 

"My kid fell and is not responding. What do I do???" The way I see it, you've got two choices: Nap or ER. Choose wisely.

"How many ounces are in a full cup?" This sure is tricky. I think I will probably need a picture of the cup. You know, to see exactly how full it is. Two points for optimism though.

"What should I feed my two month old who is not satisfied after nursing?" Well, is he a pizza person or more burgers?

"I feel like I have zerooooo control over my kids. Somebody HELP!" Two words: GET OFF THE COMPUTER. Oh really, that was five words? How marvelous of you to notice. 

"Does anyone know what time the buses from ---- School will be dropping the kids off on Brooklyn Ave?" Gee, there it went, right past your door. Bet you're wishing you had actually PICKED UP THE PHONE AND CALLED THE SCHOOL. 

"Does anyone know if there is usually parking available in front of ---- Store?" Yes, I know. But I'm not telling you because I'm about to leave the house to go to that very same place!

"Can anyone guide me on how to make ashes?" Out of what? Your house? If you mean how to make ashes out of paper, take a deep breath, and think about it. Let me know if anything comes to mind.  

And finally...

"Does anyone know if it's supposed to rain today?" Does it really matter now that you are drowning in your own stupidity?

Like I said, I wasn't actually planning on judging others. It just happened.