Thursday, March 20, 2014

My Favorite (Pesach) Things

Torching the counters till chometz is smitten
New water kettles and new oven mittens
Brown paper matzah bags tied up with string
This is why Pesach makes my head ring

Idaho potatoes but no apple strudel
Chicken and veggies, no shnitzel, no noodles
Wild kids that miss all their chometzdik things
This is why Pesach makes my head ring

Girls need new dresses, my bank needs more stashes
Searching for chometz, burn it to ashes
Thankfully wine to the seder we bring
This is why Pesach makes my head ring

When the cleaning lady, calls to cancel
And the job becomes mine
I simply remember my chocolate bars
And then I don't even whine...


Monday, March 10, 2014

Let the Countdown Begin

On Shabbos afternoon my daughter and I make our way to the home of my wise eldest brother and his also wise, super-organized wife. We are going over to say hi. Also, I want a sneak peek at her Pesach lists.

This year will be the first year that I make Pesach. And I don't even know what the term "make Pesach" really means. Which should give you an idea of the compassionate head shaking my brother and sister-in-law engage in as I ask my newbie questions.

"Okay, guys, so should I be freaking out? 'Cause I feel really calm about this and I'm guessing that it might be because I don't know what I'm getting myself into."

They smile at me. My sister-in-law says, "There's no reason to panic. I have all these lists prepared and you can adapt them to what you will need. Here is the cleaning schedule that I follow, the shopping list with the amounts that work for our family, and the cooking schedule."

My heart rate increases significantly. "Wait, there's shopping, cleaning AND cooking?"

My brother looks at my quizzically, "Are you wheezing?" he asks. I deny the allegations. I am not wheezing. I am so totally fine with this. I laugh.

"Of COURSE there is shopping, cleaning, and cooking, guys! I was just kidding around. Okay, so let's talk about the food for a second here. Where do you buy everything? Wait, where do you KEEP everything? I don't have space in my house for boxes of fruits and vegetables! Should I keep them on the porch? No, I can't keep them on the porch. Where do you put your food on Pesach? What am I going to do? I need a garage like my mother has! She puts her boxes of fruits and vegetables in the cool garage and then she doesn't have to -----"


I nod meekly. Out of the corner of my watering eye I can see my brother searching for an inhaler or a paper bag. I wave the gesture away. I am so totally fine with this.

My sister-in-law reminds me that I live in a place with plenty of Kosher L'Pesach stores. I do not have to stock up beforehand on all the food we will eat for an entire week.


"Oh thank goodness guys, this is going to be much easier than I thought. I don't really have to do any shopping in advance now, right?" I think my sister-in-law is holding her head in her hands now but it's hard to see because my eyes are starting to roll back into my head.

They're kind to me, my family. And this is going to be so totally fine.

And probably I was just tired that day. Because I am not panicking about this holiday. I can clean my house, right? And what's so difficult about buying a few new appliances? And the cooking...I mean, I can manage to whip up fruit-meat-nut-egg-chicken-potato smoothies for 8 days, right?

Let the countdown begin. #36DaysUntilPassover