Monday, May 29, 2017

Tradition is Tradition

I may not have blogged in close to forever but tradition is tradition. Today my baby, (one of) the light of my life, the cause of at least half my heart palpitations and (one of) the reason  I get up every morning and at least once in middle of the night for blanket adjustment, turns 5. A whole, entire handful of mischievous five!

Our Birthday Interviews are serious business. Here's how this year's went down:

1. What is the meaning of life? To be happy.

2. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Mommy.

3. What makes you happy? To have shaloch manos on Purim. (If you're following, food makes her happy and life is about being happy and thus the meaning of life is food. Ah, the good life.)

4. What would you buy if you had a lot of money? Toys. Toys for my baby if I would have a baby. (Unsaid: and considering you do have kids, you should be buying toys, Imma.)

5. What are you afraid of? Lions.

6. What's a funny/silly word? Chunky. (Relax, she has no idea what that means and if she did she'd be referring to thick heels not anyone's weight. <3)

7. What is the best thing in the world? Hashem,

8. What is the worst thing in the world? My yetzer harah.

9. What makes you angry? Get back to this part because I don't have any ideas. (*Uh huh*)

10. What makes you sad? When Mommy and Tatty use a rough voice then I cry,

11. What is your favorite toy? PLAYMOBIL!

12. Who do you love? I don't have any ideas again. Ummm....yeah, get back to that part. (?!?!?!)

13. What is the hardest thing to do? Listen to Mommy and Tatty.

14. What's the easiest thing to do? Push my stroller everywhere or drive a car. (I think she means when we cart her around but I'm not 100% sure and since her sister has already requested driving lessons, I'm not asking any more questions.)

15. What is the meaning of love? I don't know.

..........Okay, are you ready to get back to those questions from before that you had no ideas about?

What makes you angry? Um. My yezter harah! My yetzer harah gets me SOOO angry!
Who do you love? *cheeky grin, fake pause* Imma, Abba, Chaya and myself!!

Happy Birthday to our beautiful Hashtag. We love you a whole lot and we don't even need to contemplate to know for sure!

Thursday, February 9, 2017

I Got Nothing Done

When Jet Blue started cancelling flights and NYC Public Schools announced their closing, I knew today would be a snow day. And I was pumped! Right toward the end of an incredibly busy week a snow day would be a gift of a day where I could get things done.

And because I'm my mother's daughter, I wrote a list. A nice, long list of all the things I would accomplish in my pajama-clad, makeup-free, wonder of a day.

I am pleased to report that it is now 2:30pm and I have not crossed a single item off my list. Not the cooking, not the cleaning, not the laundry, not the song I was supposed to edit, not the envelopes I was going to address, and not the Shabbos I was going to plan.

If you're waiting for me to write that I spent all the time engaged with my daughters and creating new memories just know that I am so tempted to lie and say that's all I did today. But it's not. Sure, I helped them bundle into their snow gear and I watched them played outside. And I made hot chocolate for them when I came in. And I rearranged the play room which inadvertently caused them to remember long forgotten toys and launch into a grade game of magnet dolls.

But mostly I just let myself be. I got distracted by random ideas (such as rearranging the playroom for the umpteenth time) and I followed through. Well, at least halway (my husband may not be so thrilled about my half started projects around the house but I am going to finish this blog post by making something inspiring out of it and then pretending that was my idea the entire time.)

I guess for most people ignoring the to-do list and "wasting" a day off of work wouldn't be something to celebrate. But for me, someone who has struggled with anxiety, it's actually a pretty big deal. It means I was able to let go of my vision for the day and my expectations for myself.

So raise those hot chocolate mugs with me and relax if you haven't made today productive: it was all part of the plan. And we are all exactly where we should be.

(Except for the dirty clothes; those should definitely be in the wash right now and all the inspiration in the world isn't gonna get me out of that one!)