My Bucket List

There are things that I like to do. Things that I have done in the past. Things that I have not been able to repeat since having kids. Things I would really like to do again.

So here is my Bucket List of Repetitions:

1. Finish an entire cup of coffee in one sitting. (Just once. That's all I'm asking.)

2. Go to the bathroom without letting anyone know that's where I'm headed. (Mommy?! Mommy where are you? It's been 37 seconds and I'm all alone!)

3. Eat a meal or snack without sharing. (And without having to lock myself in my bedroom to avoid sharing.)

4. Take a shower without having to call out, "Just two more minutes, honey! Mommy is coming right out!"
(What is it with Mommies trying to do things without company?)

5. Put on makeup without a toddler makeup artist scrutinizing my every move. (That is such a funny color Mommy!)

6. Get dressed without having to match anybody. (And in ten years I will be the one blamed for dressing us all the same...)

7. Fall into bed without having to first check for potential hazards. (Such as fake bagels, toy cars, baby dolls, real crackers.)

8. Go ten consecutive minutes without answering a why question. (Why is you doing that? Why are we going there? Why is she eating that? Why is he wearing that? Why is he crossing the street if the light is red? WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?!)

9. Not schedule my day around nap times. (Think I could do this one already? Clearly you have not met my daughter. She stars as the monster in Life Sans Naps.)

10. Eat whatever I want and not gain an inch. Or two. Or five. (Wishful thinking, I know.)

Of course, I have to make the disclaimer that I love love love my kids...these are the best days of my life...all the other cliches.

It's true. I really do.

Oh and my motherly lie for today:

"Mommy, how come you said sh*ste?? That's a funny word!"

Help. Wasn't she in the family room two seconds ago? How did she get here so quickly?

"Silly, silly goose!!! I said SPLIIIICE! Cuz when something falls that's what you say. You say oh spliiiiice! Splice means that something falls. Isn't that funny?"