Daughterly Lies

"Mommy, what are you eating?"

Quickly attempt to swallow the evidence, "What?"

"I said WHAT ARE YOU EATING?"

"I'm not eating anything, Chaya, look."

"Yeah but you WAS eating something, I saw that you were chewing!"

"Oh, you saw I was chewing? Chewing is so fun, right? Chomp, chomp, chomp. What else chews? Oh monkeys chew! You like monkeys, right?"

Silence. Then,

"I want what you were eating."

So today started out like most mornings where I thought I could sneak a muffin into my esophagus without the Chew Police noticing. I forgot my plan to tell her that I was eating raw meat or something. She never asks me to share that.

As I've started keeping this blog I noticed that my little one is a pretty good truth enhancer, too. Yesterday her little sister was eating sunscreen (in my defense, it's 100% natural and pollution free) and I grabbed the bottle away from her. Baby didn't like that much and so she activated her vocals. Big sister laughed gleefully and exclaimed, "Oh LOOK Mommy, she's CRYING!" (In her defense, it was novel to see the baby in trouble instead of her.) But I'm a good mother. So I said,

"Yes, she is crying. She's sad because Mommy took away the sunscreen. Does it make you happy when she cries?"

Enthusiastic nods.

Crap. I can't stop now, can I? Why didn't I think this whole thing through? 

Stern voice. "Why does it make you happy when she cries?"

"BECAUSE," she explains for the benefit of those dumb enough not to understand on their own, "If I would also start crying, she would just get more upset. So I'm laughing."

Yeah. Right.

I guess we know for sure that she's mine :)