Post Tantrum Stress Disorder

Well, today started out like any other day with a supreme space out by Mommy who didn't start the get-dressed-eat-breakfast-and-pretend-to-forget-to-brush-their-teeth until 20 minutes before the school bus was about to arrive, naturally progressed into an episode of Cheerios miraculously scattering all over the kitchen floor by themselves, and an inevitable tumble out of the high chair by Child #2 who, like her big sister, can do everything by her absolute self.

It seems as though falling out of a highchair really puts a damper on her mood, though. Mine too.

Making routines is easy. Following them? Not always. If you look through the pictures on my phone one day, you might notice that I have captured my children doing ordinary things. Some people live for the applause, my kids live for paparazzi. I've discovered that I can get them to do almost anything if I take a picture of it and promise to send it around (my family can attest to the various pictures that they have received of children getting dressed, shampooing their hair, and flossing their teeth.)

When the pictures don't work, that's when we get stuck. And usually end up in a tantrum. On account of I won't compromise about menial things. Like washing hands with soap and going to bed, for instance. My friend Chaya has taught me that tantrums can affect even the best of mothers and we may not recognize that we are harboring past traumas of when our children, in scientific terms, Lose It. Some of you may resonate with the official diagnosis of Post Tantrum Stress Disorder. Don't feel ashamed, it's pretty common.

Symptoms include headaches, memory loss surrounding your decision to have children, Google searches of how to put a string cheese back together, and a strong desire to crawl under your bed.

Treatment options are much better. You can try chocolate, ice cream, manicures, and showers that last more than five minutes. Success varies. More research is needed. All ideas welcome.

Some other helpful terms from my Dictionmommy:

Pinstressed - (adj.) Me, on Pinterest. See DIY.

DIY - (v.) Do it yourself? Destroy it yourself? 
Martyr-dumb - (n.) Rescuing your child from your spouse's strict discipline and then realizing you are now stuck with the toddler who is wailing about the sun being in the wrong part of the sky. 

Thermomentor - (n.) The person you call to find out if you should take your child to the doctor. Usually not the doctor. Usually the mother. And usually she says, "I don't know. I had babies a long time ago. Call your sister."

Vaccscene - (n.) No matter where in the world you are, you will know when my kid is getting shots. We are the family that scares all the little kids still in the Waiting Room because we make it sound like war is going on inside the Examination Room. That's how we roll.

Dinnerd - (adj.) The mom who tries to make cutsie stuff out of the vegetables she is serving, but fails. See Pinterest and DIY.