Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Public Shame Me

As a teacher, I am often the recipient of unsolicited advice from my students, my colleagues, and of course, my own parents who have been teachers for years. The kids usually advise me to give more recess and less homework, but the adults tend to give me great tips about almost everything.

Sometimes, though, their advice sucks.

The other day a staff member in my school suggested to me a solution to the incessant (and incredibly aggravating) note-passing that is going on among students (what they have to talk about so urgently that they cannot possibly follow along in class is beyond me. And then they spend all night on the phone.) Her suggestion was to "catch" a note being passed and read it aloud to the class.

Her reasoning, "They will be so embarrassed when the entire class hears what they wrote, they'll never do it again." I'm not a hater of old school policies, but this one really disturbed me. Since when is humiliating students a teaching method??

But hey, can I blame her? Public shaming is all the rage. Think about all those pictures you've seen online about the parent forcing their child to stand in a heavily populated area wearing a sign that said, "I was twerking," or "I shoplifted," or "I am a bully." In an age where we are FINALLY recognizing how detrimental bullying can be, and at a time when we are putting so much effort into bully prevention, why on earth are we modeling that very same behavior?

Certainly we would all agree that if a group of children would force an individual child to stand at the corner wearing a sign declaring her shortcomings, that would be bullying. Why, then, are our actions exempt?

If you're going to use public shaming as a means of parenting, go ahead. Just one condition: stand next to your kid and wear a sign too.

"I'm the idiot who lets my children watch Miley Cyrus's sickening objectification of women and sexuality."

"I'm the incompetent parent who isn't getting my child the help that they need."

"I'm the parent who believes bullying is okay for adults."

No child is perfect (kids, when you're all grown up and reading this, kindly refer to previous posts to confirm your almost-but-not-quite perfect behavior), but no parent is either. Instead of placing blame one-sidedly and shaming your child into submission, why don't you explore where you may have gone wrong or what you can do to help them.

I've made my billboards, where are yours?





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