More No

So I've noticed that a lot of mothers (yours truly included) have a hard time saying NO.

You are blinking at the screen. Probably trying to decide if I've gone mad. What does she mean she rarely says no? Don't most mothers worry that they say no too much?

So here's the thing. I say no. I say no no NO! I say NO WAY! And absolutely not, uh uh, no way, not gonna happen. I say all that (in a gentle, loving but firm voice, of course) and I say it a lot. But there are dozens of times that I should be saying no and I say something else instead. Like, not now or maybe soon or I don't think so or I'm not sure. 

I know I'm not the only one. The other day I passed by a mother and her litter of kids near a construction site. And I heard her call out to her son, "Moishele, we're not playing with concrete now." Because obviously playing with concrete was on the schedule for later. 

And in this house, it happens all the time.

"Mommy, can you buy me a purple dress with sparkles?"

"Hmmmm, I'm gonna look into that."

"Mommy, can I color with your inky pens? I never ever EVER got to."

"Let me think about it."

"Mommy, can I have a chocolate treat today after breakfast?"

"Maybe after lunch. Or dinner."

"Mommy, can we go to the new museum again?" 

"Oh, the one that's ridiculously far away? That required actual movement and interaction on my part? You know what? That's a great idea. I'm gonna talk to Tatty about it later. Or never. Probably never. But I stopped speaking out loud because otherwise you'd be screaming from the minute you'd hear me say never"

And there you have it. I hedge because I'm trying to ward of potential tantrums. Well, committed tantrums. Absolutely reliable tantrums. 

I have no good advice. I am simply publicizing the fact that I am a wimp. Or just a regular Mommy with a limited amount of patience.