Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Don't Ask, Don't Tell does not apply to painting without supervision, playing with Play-Doh or waking your sister early from her nap.

It does not apply to using my makeup, nor generously washing the fine china.

Don't factor it in when sharing the dollars you found in my wallet with your friends, and kindly don't consider it when redecorating the kitchen walls.

It doesn't cover playing outside alone (how in the world do learn how to open every door, anyway?), nor adding treats to the shopping cart at the grocery store.

It is not in effect when taking home toys from school (where's the blushing emoticon?) and cannot be used to excuse any toddler hair cutting.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is a strict policy that must be applied to certain situations, such as:

1. Witnessing Mommy eating a chocolate snack.
2. Overhearing anyone using bad words.
3. Seeing someone dressed in something that I'd never let your wear.

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Today was Twin Day in camp and my daughter had a very hard time with the concept. First, she didn't want to be the same as anyone (this from the kid who begged me to buy her sandals just like everyone else had.) Then she panicked: how will anyone be able to tell me and my friend apart from each other if we are dressed the same?! (In her defense, her good friends are twins and she often has to ask them straight up for their names because she otherwise has trouble telling them apart.) Then she went impossible: I want to be twins with EVERYBODY in my class. Not just the person that Morah decided. You have to text all the Mommies!! I'M NOT GOING TO PUT THAT ON!

In the end I had to call out my inner Motherly.

"How about this? How about if you dress just like your fake twin, Mommy will let you wear your special silver shoes to camp? But remember, you need to be very careful with them. This is a special privilege that Mommy is giving you because I know that this twin thing is very hard for you. Would you like to do that?"

The answer was an enthusiastic YES! I'm hoping that when she gets to camp and finds her twin also mysteriously in silver shoes, she'll just be blown away by the odds.