Guestiquette

Happy (Jewish) New Year!

Freshly showered after a three-day holiday and I feel like I can take on anything.

Except maybe the laundry.
And the overtired, sugar-high, off-schedule kids.
And the overtired, sugar-high, off-schedule me.

But everything else I can totally handle.

This holiday we were guests, as my husband is a chazzan and we went to stay in NJ near the shul where he davened. So I've decided to dedicate this post to all the guests out there who might need my own $0.02 on how to be good guests.

So, the laws of Guestiquette:

1. If you have any allergies or weird eating habits, let your host know. Before you come. If the habits are severely strange (like you eat only cooked spinach on top of roasted eggplant for breakfast) consider preparing your own food. Consider it a lot.

2. Expect your routine to be off. In addition to holiday happenings that push things off schedule, prepare that your children will not go into bed as easily as usual and may not go to sleep "on time." Don't expect your host to close all of the lights in the house and have all the kids whisper so that your kids can nod off. (You're allowed to dream about this, just can't implement it.)

3. Don't discipline your host's kids. Actually, don't discipline anyone's kids. Except yours. Even if you're the greatest parent in the world. And you know exactly what needs to be said. And it always works for your kids. And you can stop a tantrum before it starts. Just keep your mouth closed. If you don't like what you're seeing, walk away.

4. If you use it, clean it and/or put it away.

5. Don't break stuff.

6. Don't jump on the couch.

7. If you bring special treats or toys for your kids and they are not going to share them, keep them in your room.

8. Follow the Rules of the House. Like, do not allow your children to bounce balls in the house or play with the light switch if those games are forbidden. (Is the whole light-switch-gonna-start-a-fire thing true? Or did they tell us that just to scare us?)

9. Pick up a broom every few hours.

10. And sweep.

---

Did you feel Motherly over the holiday? I often found myself lying explaining.

For example, "We're not allowed to have more than one apple with honey each day."

And, "If we touch a spider's house it will break, and that would be very, very, very sad. Because we love spiders. And we want spiders to be happy."

And of course, "The outside gets closed up after bedtime. And the trampoline stops being bouncy."