Thursday, February 9, 2017

I Got Nothing Done

When Jet Blue started cancelling flights and NYC Public Schools announced their closing, I knew today would be a snow day. And I was pumped! Right toward the end of an incredibly busy week a snow day would be a gift of a day where I could get things done.

And because I'm my mother's daughter, I wrote a list. A nice, long list of all the things I would accomplish in my pajama-clad, makeup-free, wonder of a day.

I am pleased to report that it is now 2:30pm and I have not crossed a single item off my list. Not the cooking, not the cleaning, not the laundry, not the song I was supposed to edit, not the envelopes I was going to address, and not the Shabbos I was going to plan.

If you're waiting for me to write that I spent all the time engaged with my daughters and creating new memories just know that I am so tempted to lie and say that's all I did today. But it's not. Sure, I helped them bundle into their snow gear and I watched them played outside. And I made hot chocolate for them when I came in. And I rearranged the play room which inadvertently caused them to remember long forgotten toys and launch into a grade game of magnet dolls.

But mostly I just let myself be. I got distracted by random ideas (such as rearranging the playroom for the umpteenth time) and I followed through. Well, at least halway (my husband may not be so thrilled about my half started projects around the house but I am going to finish this blog post by making something inspiring out of it and then pretending that was my idea the entire time.)

I guess for most people ignoring the to-do list and "wasting" a day off of work wouldn't be something to celebrate. But for me, someone who has struggled with anxiety, it's actually a pretty big deal. It means I was able to let go of my vision for the day and my expectations for myself.

So raise those hot chocolate mugs with me and relax if you haven't made today productive: it was all part of the plan. And we are all exactly where we should be.

(Except for the dirty clothes; those should definitely be in the wash right now and all the inspiration in the world isn't gonna get me out of that one!)

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